Notes 246 to 301

 CHAPTER V

MAI-NIWAS

A Miniature for Maximum Merit and Bliss and Minimum Sin and Sorrow

246. The Founder finally retired from Hubli in August 1945. The wonderful speed with which things were progressing was giving him greater and greater assurance about Mother's Will. His heart was dancing with joy. He said to himself," If such people, as poor Madrasis were ready to spare one-third of their pay, he was sure to have the personal assistance of thousand from Bombay, Ahmedabad and Gujerat so very easily. " The rich and religious and charity famed Gujerat had known and tasted Mai-ism for over ten years.

247. Like a child, the Founder said to himself," If everyone who profited by Mother's Grace spared 1/3rd of his monthly earning and every one who had constant contact with the Founder spared 1/4th, both once for all, I could quite easily raise nearly eighty thousand." Besides, the main brilliant factors were these. Gujaratis were much richer than Madrasis. Anyone one would see that on the very face of their living. Next thing, they were his own people. Still, next thing, the relationship with Madrasis were only a devotional one.  The founder had simply taught them the art of how to please Mother, to be saved from calamities or to improve prospects in life.  With Gujaratis, he not only knew them but their homes and family members who would be surrounding him. The Founder had helped so many from so many hardships ( and such as none would like to be mentioned in public ), most wonderfully and miraculously.

248. Founder was sure that as soon as he opened his mouth in Gujerat about his intention of constructing Mai-Niwas, he would be upheld, at the standard which these poor people  ( with no materialistic obligations of Founder's removing any special calamities ) had laid down, with quite a sufficient for the main hall and two side rooms  amount. In his child-like way, Founder argued to himself and revolved in his mind every circumstance in which Mother had helped every man and saved the situation.  With the highest love of the people for money that he can then imagine he did not find it in any way hard to realise the minimum requirement , even without any consideration of  people's return by way of actual gratitude , only if they just helped  a good cause by way of refuse  flinging away of something in proportionate to what they already had in their hands. Further Gujaratis had the immense and continued benefit of well-thought-out instruction in every detail from time to time since calamities were talked over to the Founder and till they disappeared.

249. Founder gets sickened when he reviews this question after his disillusionment about what the world in its natural constituency is. The less said the better. In a word, the ungratefulness of the human world is many times much greater and more bitter than that of beasts. This expression is in itself erroneous in a way. The proper way of putting it is that whereas animals have shown the heights of gratefulness, men have shown climaxes of ungratefulness. It is an extremely interesting subject to study why it is so and the Founder would like to record the psychological working of an average mind of this age for them that are of his rosy outlook and are in absolute darkness about, at least, the present wickedness and religious hypocrisy of the world.

250. Founder says the wickedness of the world is antidoted by the superb ultra goodness of a limited few thereof. The world knows only ill-treating them, ridiculing them, harassing them and squeezing them. The later, however, are prepared for all that, because they have a trust in a much more powerful and Merciful element, viz., God-Almighty. Such few consider their remuneration as payable, not in the world, but in the Highest Court of Justice.

251. The Founder is fond of saying " Servers cannot be diners. "It is none of the servers' concern to see whether the diners relish the served dishes or not. They have to keep their mum and keep on running from one end to other, without a single moment's rest. The host is all the while watching them. The host appreciates their silent work and suffering. The host makes a note of every mischief and harassment of the dinners and the humility with which the servers pocket their insults and absorbing themselves in the discharge of their duty single-mindedly. Server's only concern is " Let it never be  there  that a single person in the distant most corner remained promptly unsupplied with anything important or unimportant, that he wanted." Later the Founder had immense joy in realising that none was permitted to serve who had not risen above the hunger.  The Founder saw in one year what he had not dreamt of in over fifty-five years. The whole world changed as soon as he gave an utterance to his intention of expecting some financial help for doing Mai's work, which work he had been doing for so many years in the past, and which the world had enjoyed at the Founder's expense. He needed help because he had on retirement no longer that decent earning which he had till then. His earning was only a pension of Rs. 114 p.m., after living a scrupulously honest officer's expensive unsteady and touring life, with little saving. "

252. The Founder on his way from Hubli to Bombay [Mumbai], was given substantial sum by Madrasis at Poona [Pune} and the Founder danced with joy at such a brilliant lucky beginning.

253. On coming over to Bombay and entering the boundaries of the mercantile money-monarch-ruled trading expert Gujerat, he saw the undreamt-of-change. People who had wept before him and whose tears he had wiped began to talk him as a house-master who would speak to a door-beggar. The Founder lost the Saviour's and human Mai's position in the eyes of people. It was no small crime of the Founder  to have his eye on the mere scattered refuse around the cash-box of each  man so as to be a help to  continue his work which  had been proved to be most beneficial and which had been proceeded with by the Founder on his own responsibility  and which was to help mankind in future.

254. Next to the devotional brother and sister in Bombay previously referred as helping the Founder to get the site, N.P. was the first man in Gujerat who although earning quite a poor pay prostrated himself before the Founder, with an envelope containing a hundred Rs. the note stating in a letter that what he had paid was nothing compared to what he had received as Mother's Grace by way of his being saved from attacks of fatal illness and that the amount was given as a token of personal veneration, to be spent in any way the Founder like.

255. The Founder had absolutely no idea, of a mercantile poison spreading disease-bacteria of money making out-look in religious managements unless the receipt side became so very prosperous and lucrative as to require an organisation, lest there be any misappropriation by the assistants of a Religious Head. The minimum amount that would justify any such doubt for the Founder, considering his status as an ordinary citizen and his official career with absolutely no consideration about his religiosity and his own Founder-ship, would have been many times much more than the total amount required.

256. There was absolutely nothing like something to be given as given once for all without having anything to do with it, which was by way of [1] a return for calamities removed, or [2] a return for the benefits already enjoyed by virtue of the existence of Mother-worship Institute or [3] helping a good cause which is to none's taste or [4] helping a religious man in his work , whose devotion they had already seen, admired and also profited by.

257. The Founder saw a clean-cut absence and absolute evaporation of any of the above noble considerations. The whole outlook was found to be just the reverse. Everyone, as it were, rose to the pedestal of a dictator and began to issue commands from his dais, without touching his purse. Some talked as if they were to patronise a Scheme to make the Founder merely Bhatji ( a poorly paid worshipper) of a temple. None came forth in Bombay to take up the cause or to move around or even to talk a word in favour of the proposal.

258. The Founder was agreeable to the proposal of Trust or a Committee if such proposal really took a concrete shape. He was agreeable to anything because his only life mission or ambition was the furthering of the Mai-movement and the out-spread of Mai-ism. He was not a tonsure -headed incognito from Haridwar or Rameshwaram. He had worked day and night. He had spent. His work was there for years before he retired, done on his own responsibility and at his own expense. Someone sympathetic to the Founder stated," Let us start with the modest beginning of Rs.30,000. Whoever comes up with the donation of Rs. 5000, let him be a trustee. six trustees would make up the finance. To put the same matter in another shape, let there be a board of members, with an entrance fee of Rs, 250 and a reasonable monthly fee of say Rs. 3 or 5 or a percentage fee of 1 per cent of a man's earning. " Founder agreed to any proposal on the top of the acceptance, he even said he would be nothing to do with the financial side and would confine himself to the religious side of the Institute.

259. Both proposals were placed  before persons interested, but the fact of the facts was, there was not a single man coming forth  with any interest whatsoever, either to touch his purse  or to move his hands and feet to go to another or move his tongue to talk to even the nearest neighbor or relatives or even one's own sons and daughters.

260. The Founder had the said sad experience at Ahmedabad - a city of consolidated richness. Ahmedabad was a place wherefrom he could have collected a significant amount if there was a single soul to take up the idea. The long and the short of the whole experience both at Bombay and Ahmedabad was that none came forth and none wanted to entertain any proposal of financing the Mother-movement.

261. Ahmedabad went one step further than Bombay. Some indulged in crooked ways of argumentations which spread fire in the heart of the world-novice, the Founder. Someone with a responsible life- status and high education abroad " Where is the need of building for doing Mother's work ?? Can it not be done even on otta ( a verandah)? " The Founder even at the age of sixty credited every man with sincerity and outspokenness and he would loose his balance " Can a man of this much worldly experience and education not understand such a simple thing, that even for a second standard boy, it makes a difference in his attitude if he is given independent room in the house. ?"

262. Founder often states his life-long blunder has been to be entirely ignorant about the wickedness about the world, and which he all along mistook to be an absence of common sense. Founder would get wondered how people have not got even the most ordinary common sense. He had no idea, wickedness walks in robs of righteousness and defends itself under the shield of an absence of common sense. or a misunderstanding.

263. Someone would say to him," If you had an idea of getting money from us to do the work, why did you not begin, from the very commencement, to sell Mother's Grace? I am sure you might have by now easily got many times much more than you need, at least, one lac."

The Founder would be again wondering how these simple things, people could not understand. A parent supports and nourishes the child In the later life the parent has no money and therefore wishes the rich sons to help him in maintaining the younger family. Is it selling a parental goodness??

Founder's head would turn at the follies (?) of the world. He would say " Those heads have only saw-dusts. They can't think properly. " He had not had an iota of the worldly understanding or any suspicion about the bona fide speeches of the world. he never thought of cunningness behind seeming senselessness and jealousy-burningness behind restlessness.

264. Some would ask" Since what date, Mother has taken to begging ?? Is Mother for giving or receiving? " Some would say," Your powers you have lost. They are all consumed. If not, why does not Mother Herself give you a lottery ?/ Why should it be necessary for anyone to open his mouth for you in a humiliating way? "

265. Someone would say," You hear this poor man's advice. I am sure Mai will not refuse you any request. You confine yourself in a room and concentrate and get the name of a winning race-horse or the figures of " The American features ". Why don't you do such a simple thing within your own certainties ?" After a pause, in a philanthropic way, he would add," Come on, cheer up. I am helping you. I will give 10 per cent of my gains for Mother's work, on my getting money through your lips."

266. Someone would say," The bees go to the flowers. Flowers never go to bees. The money will be sent by Mother Herself. You simply sleep away. You deserve sitting down in a worship-room like an image. Let others do what they like and let Nature take its own course. If Mother desires anything, She will do it. If not, what do you care about that? "

267. The master-stroke was, however, this," Which devil has asked you to undertake an activity? You had a fad and madness. Well, alright, you pleased yourself and danced as you liked, with the money that you had. If you have no money to continue your fads, why don't you be wise and sit silently in an unknown corner? "

268. Some would say," You have reached the highest point of evolution, but your egoism has not died and you have not been perfect in your Nivratti ( complete restivity). Why should you have the ego-ism of Your doing something you can for the world before you die ?? Who are YOU, to improve the World?

269. Hundreds of things, the Founder had to hear, and that too, not from men of small education or small means. But, come what may, the zealousness of the Founder could not be abated by any sense of arguments. 

270. Some went even to still ignoble ways of thinking about the Founder, before whom they had so often prostrated and under whose obligations they had often been and whose devotional ennobling contact they had already experienced.

Someone said," People don't believe you have gone in for a plot; show us your document". Founder in his child-like would say," If people have no trust in the very first measure of mine when I have written to so many of you about my having purchased the plot, how will the whole working go on smoothly later? " In his simple-minded way, he would show the document to people when they would come to Bombay credulously believing in the good faith of the point raised and would inquire people were satisfied.

Founder never suspected such people were residing in skies and cellars of self-serving motives and stooping to any means and indulging in any imaginations.he would be simply fretting at the follies of the people. He would say to himself," Can not people have sufficient sense to understand, how can a man give such details of the transaction from time to time as he had done to all important persons? "

271. Some had the heartlessness of questioning," This is alright, but what will happen after you die? that is the most important question." Founder would get ruffled and he would say," what else is going to happen?? people will bury and burn me ." Someone illuminated him by suggesting to him to give an undertaking to the effect that none of his family members would ever step into the place. And all this before he takes out even a single coin from his pocket. It was at this suggestion he had a new staggering light.

So long as the Founder had no other idea, he fretted. He had now the light. People meant" who will enjoy the property after you die " !!! A tremor passed through his whole body. said he,"What? People are thinking about my death and what shall happen after my death, to the property ?., before even a single inch of excavation of the Foundation has been done, or a single pie is donated? !!! He saw his extremely poor incapacity for gauging the world's depths. Till then he thought, people, meant," There is none to carry out your work like you after you, Why do you unnecessarily die?  Leave off the idea and be happy in your own way in your householder's life ." Goodness suffers a great deal out of a delusion of taking one and all to be friendly and interested in promoting Goodness. All the while he was forcefully answering that question with the revolving this idea in the mind. " Does not matter, if there is none after me. Let me at least serve as much as I can, during my time. Mother will take care of Her work after me. " One day he laughed outright  and said to himself," The world can't understand me  and I can't understand the world ." The two mental universes, one centred around " Religiosity and Benevolence " and another round " property and self - serving " are poles asunder. The two worlds interspersed intermingled and interdependent, having been enchained to live together, in delusion, ignorance and darkness of each in respect of the other. !!!

272. The climax was there when one of the Founder's relatives on a Friday while going out for a work, in his motor, said in a threatening manner with the rights of an elderly relative to his another relative," There is nothing more to think about or to do regarding him. He has already turned mad. Confine him in a room and give him two meals and keep all necessary arrangements for his bodily requirement."

This was most hotheadedly said in the presence of the Founder and indirectly to him, and both started out towards the city for their work. The Founder wept with an outburst of tears shouting to his Mother," My own nearest relatives do not understand me  and not even an iota of love or respect, cooperation or sympathy  for my work of Thine or for my devotion to Thee."

The motor which carried the two relatives had a severe accident, although they were saved. The motor had to be sent for immediate repairs. In the evening while returning in the repaired motor, they had a second accident. The motor was sent back for repairs and they had to return home in some friend's motor car.

273. The experiences of the Founder in the matter of a motor meeting accident, or a stopped motor beginning to run as usual after it went definitely out of order, were many. His mind is an extremely troubled conditioned would bring either of the two results. This is an interesting point for a psychologist to investigate into. One point to be noted for the theorists is that the Founder never wished or even thought of an incoming incident. In the other case of moving a stopped motor, he has of-course prayed with full consciousness.  

274. The first thing on arriving home was that the younger relative informed the family of the accident details and with tears in his eyes, embraced the founder and asked his apology, for the cruel words which the elder relative had addressed to the Founder. The elder relative indirectly joined the younger relative in his apology, maintaining his status, but with every affectionate relational love.

275. The Friday Mother-worship was very well attended that night, as the Founder was to leave to Ahmadabad. The Founder gave a beautiful illustration of a saint during Mother worship in the congregation attended by all. A saint went once to a small town. His adherents pressed him too much to go with them to a Bhavai ( the old time vulgar dramatic play before Hindu Goddess, as a devotional measure to please Her). The saint refused to the last to go to such an indecent and vulgar play but had after all to go. They were all seated when one of the players ( zando) took out his torn shoe and threw it into the crowd of people. Incidentally, the shoe came with a force and struck the saint in the face. He laughed and said," This experience had remained missing and unlearnt in my various life-lessons." I thank you all. you have brought me here." The Founder put all of them to their true religious understanding in an implied manner and all that knew the events of the day, were sorry and some repentant that nothing an important truth to be born in mind.

Founder said to himself," My experience was incomplete; although so many things I was made  to realise  by my friends and relatives; till now I was not threatened  with being confined in a room as a madman."

276. The Founder had further the rich experience of devotional donors (?) coming forth to hand over some sites practically free or at a highly concessional rate. Not one, not two, not three but four. He was in the highest heavens. In a less than a fortnight, there were ready for Mother's Temple four sites !!!! He began to think people had entirely two different mentalities, one they were out for money making and the other when they were out for handsome charity worth the name. What more can he aspire to ?? He was happily passing nights comparing and contrasting the advantages of the different sites and trying to decide which site should be selected. The spell was however soon broken and he was disillusioned. The first three sites were under irremovable legal encumbrances. In the case of the fourth site, which the owner promised to give at the cost price, the cost price quoted was much higher than the highest selling price the vendor had realised in the open market only two days back for exactly similar plots.

One charitable donor (?) declared it in a large meeting " This moment deserves every encouragement. It must have at least one thousand a year as income. I come forth to help this movement which I love from the bottom of my heart and promise to do my best, as I have the highest opinion of the Founder as a disinterested saint.". He requested the Founder to go to his house where he made matters clear. He was an insurance agent and if most Mai-ists insured their policies with him, it was not hard for him to pay as Rs. 1000 per year to the Founder as his donation ( mind, it is not commission )  to the deserving Institute and as he was impressed, the Founder did deserve encouragement. These are the samples of trading people's charities at least to the Founder, or say, to them that are not more than a match for them, or to say, to simpletons like Founder or to people without strengths and stunts.

277. The Founder decided that he would be going to Ahmedabad just as any Government officer goes to his native place during leave, entirely forgetting that he is an officer of such and such calibre, of such a status and such an experience and honoured abroad, and such a usefulness to the public.  

278. He returned to Bombay [ Mumbai]  at Malad with a rich experience as to what the world in its natural elements was.

The Founder would sit for nights, in the terrace of the place at Malad and would be gazing at the moon and praying Mother most cool mindedly viewing the whole situation. One night he burst into such a loud laughter, that some of the family members came running up to the terrace to enquire why he was laughing. Founder said," This world, Mother has made funniest enough to nullify the highest serenity. I was temporarily unhappy because I have left the Mother's Lap and too much trusted in the world and expected its sympathetic co-operation for my Mai work. I have seen now what the world is in its true colours. Still, I know only a fringe. But now I laugh and laugh outright. People would talk about even my dying but would not say it out plainly. "  Whatever Mother might have done or might do for us, do not expect a single pie from us, excuse us.". People were ready to call me mad and would wish me to die before they would even once think of parting with a single pie. Thanks to Mother they did not plainly say" You die before you think of a single pie from us ".

279. Said he," Yes, Mother has promised me. My desire of constructing " Mai Niwas " shall not remain unfulfilled. I am given a tip. I will do nothing from now by way of troubling Mother for Mother's Grace  to remove miseries of persons  that approach me without their promise to do something for Mother in return, let that something  be what they themselves may decide  for the constriction of Mai Niwas or for Mai work." But nothing free from now, except for the really poor. Mother has promised me to prompt happy results and success in response to my prayers  for the relief of people of individual cases,"

That night was a change for the Founder. In so many cases there is nothing like a gradual explainable change. The forest turns to be a palace just as in a drama. It is only a question of dropping one curtain or another and pushing one type of wings or another. He said that some saints had Tyagi Prarabdha ( of relinquishment ) and some had Bhogi one ( of enjoyment ). None was on a superior or inferior plane on that ground. He further began to see that just as in the world itself success did not always depend on worldly qualifications, so the religious world also a manifestation of Prarabdha. It is Mother who decides a programme for each aspirant or saint. It is only world delusion to believe that the saint with the richest paraphernalia is superior on the religious plane, to one living only by himself. All are different varieties each one to do assign work, to be really judged on one's own merit.

The fact that he did not get money pouring from the public, which made him be despondent about Mother's Grace on him, was now taken by him to mean absolutely no disqualification, in the eyes of either the truly religious people, or the highly spiritual souls. His mind and eyes entirely changed. He got over the despondency. He began to say himself, a devotee or a saint can as well as and as efficiently serve Mother, and Her world without any means men and money, as one fully equipped therewith.

In the matter of charities also, he had a vivid picture of its inmost substance, in so many cases. Charity, the underlying motive whereof would really deserve the creditable reverential feeling of a charity, was extremely rare.

Most of the charities were out of fear of God or superstition or because of a desire of name and fame or for white-washing some black spot or out of helplessness because one can not afford to displease someone. Many charities were for catching an opportunity to widen business influence or getting into contact with higher society or for inviting the personal attention of some devotees favourably placed in status or position. Some few were with the object of removing a fatigue of an over-worked constantly curbed monotonous life of routine -restlessness. Some were for removing the heavy unbearable burden conscience-sting on account of some serious sins committed.

In a word, all worldly selfish, to-others-not-known motives and purposes, sought to be served under the hypocritic denomination of a " charity "

This may surely be called a cynical view but it is a practical and realistic one. Mother thought that picture was necessary to cheer the Founder up, when he was finally dropping with the common folk-notion, viz., that he had absolutely no Grace of Mother, and that if we're there, the Grace would have made people pour in their charities.

280. Founder says,"If you wish to ameliorate yourself in the spiritual line, you can not ignore the smallest details of the body, mind and heart, both of yourself and the world or the individuals you are with. It is only by setting every element of those of yours aright, that the spirituality can be best developed. The paradoxical position arises because some outer casings are best protections externally, but the worst obstructions to the inner improvement.

" The world has to be studied and even most diplomatically tackled if success is desired especially in dealings with the world. The only main difference between the successful worldly man and the spiritual man dealing with the world is that whereas the worldly man with the full knowledge of all things tries to better his worldly prospects, the spiritual aspirant utilises the very same knowledge towards his spiritual achievement or world's spiritual welfare. Quite an unfortunate, pitiable, apathetic, and uncongenial position for religious working and workers has risen since our contact with the West especially after the First War of 1914, as spirituality by itself has ceased to be absolutely any qualification for the modern world.

281. The Founder is of opinion that to spread one's own religion, say Hinduism, it is best that you should study other religions as well. You must know not only your own strength but also the strength of your combatant. To appreciate Righteousness, Wickedness has to be known studied and experienced. You can not appreciate the sweetness of righteousness and devotional living unless you have at least once dipped yourself in the saltishness and bitterness of the world, although you might not have succumbed to its tremendous degenerating influence.

282. Both these views of the Founder, viz., that a Religious preacher should know the strength of the combatant and that he should have obtained knowledge of wickedness, look strange at first sight, as we find so many saints who have neither studied the various philosophies and had never been under the smallest shadow of wickedness. This point requires to be cleared and demands subtle understanding. In the first place, when any saint is described as illiterate or uneducated, that is in a particular sense only. That means two things. One, that he did not go through the regular schooling course prevalent in the particular Age. Second,, that these saints knew absolutely very little about all two-penny-worth matters, except what had the distant-most relevancy to their own legitimate relevant aim, object and work. The founder comes to this inference because he knows what an illiterate booby he himself is, in all other subjects except his own. For years together, he did not know what "L.B.W." in cricket meant although best players were his college friends. Even up to the time of writing this the Founder has no knowledge of the elementary rules of cricket, tennis or bridge. Once the Founder was honoured in a club by being invited to be a partner in their bridge play.  He was so much pressed that he had to say it out, he did not know even the A.B.C. of the game. Some mildly smiled, some laughed loudly. one of them a distinguished high officer saved his delicate humiliation by saying," He is not bridge-player but a bridge-builder  for all of us to go to our God."

Even when someone comes to him for cure , he loses his patience  when the doctors' opinions, results of various examinations and the science of the contacted diseases etc. are detail-fully described  ( for his own knowledge about these things is practically big zero. He does not know even the names of most common diseases ). He would say," Tell me in one word, what you want. The more you talk about these things, the more inefficient and useless, my prayer to Mother., you are making. Do you want the cure of the disease or the enrichment of my poor knowledge of the particular disease and the medical science teaching by you? " Even though the Founder would try today to conceal his ignorance, any man who talks with him on any subject other than religion, would find him great cypher about the most ordinary things which even a boy of sixteen would know, say, names of different cloths varieties, pieces of things etc. The founder reads only religious cuttings if any from papers if some-one invites his attention. The Founder is inclined to think, when highly supreme religious souls are being talked as illiterate or without education, it is in this sense. People have no idea that in their brains there is no vacancy for passing things of trivial and temporary value. They are extremely guardful that their limited brain is not made a dustbin for any dirt that the passing wind may throw in. Without a bit of exaggeration, they resent being leg-pulled to be taken down to the lower plane. They prefer being evaded and shoved in a corner as good for nothing, regarding the various subjects which only go to give brilliancy of expertness in worldly matters, during the conversation and daily mundane routine.

People know only the outer life and the external facts of this life, the present life only, of saints , and therefore so many are in delusion, as if a mechanical course of devotion or a parrot-like study of  the scriptures and Divine knowledge, without any experience of the world, is quite sufficient to reach their stage. The stage in all actuality is not reached without having to pass through innumerable experiences of righteousness and wickedness, vice and virtue, etc. and without the attainment of pretty fair perfection in all practicality of the said requirements.

The fact is, however, this: If you believe in past lives, he has acquired those acquisitions through experiences in past lives. If you do not, he is actually born with certain perfections, or say supremely high faculties. Either way, the thing which people think as absent being invisible is invisibly there. The only thing is, people are entirely unaware about it due to people's blunder of judging them as progressing in people's own ways, or people's ignorance about certain inborn supreme faculties, which an average man does not possess.

The subtle fact is they are much above the plane, of theoretically learning a certain truth, doubting it, experimenting about it, forming high conclusions about it, again testing it and trying the truthfulness of the truth, getting a conviction etc. They are much beyond the stage of experimenting with eternal truths and above the temptations of dabbling with those truths and ignoring them. They have the Divine Law and the eternal truths. They have accepted them once for all.  They have a conviction about them and all the subsidiary things disappearing, so to say, those truths begin to live through them.  Their life and every detail of their living is guided with that wisdom of those truths. So to say, every action of theirs originates from the conviction of those eternal truths. There is no question of any weighing or of fumbling or faltering, hesitating or struggling. No falsehood means no falsehood.No harm to other means no harm. No counting of another's wealth means no counting. No evil eye on another woman means no evil eye, and so on, in any circumstances, under any pressure, in front of any temptation. "No" means "No" and "Yes" means "Yes".That way all the eternal truths stand a mastered and obedient to the Master's Will.

To give a strange simile, whereas an average man's life is a shop-keeping, a saint's life is that of a tree. In any shop, the things are what have been brought in and are not what have not bought or thrown out. Here there is the change-fullness.In the case of saint's life, everything takes place with every surety of a certain act being of a certain nature and leading to a certain result - just as on hearing a mango tree or a plantain tree has fructified, the conviction is there about the fruit being nothing else but a mango or plantain. Here, there is the changelessness. Changelessness is the reality. Changefulness is unreality.

He speaks what he thinks and he acts what he thinks and speaks. That is a true test of a saintly life. In one word, His life is the natural outspreading and foliage of certain eternal truths. All those preliminary processes seen in the case of ordinary man are absent; because, there is no noisy hubbub, no process of churning, no setting forth pros and cons, no parading of arguments, illustrations, previous instances, or long series of narration of past experiences, etc.

People think saint have no idea about worldliness and worldly experience. They are partly right, but the fact is they live very little on the worldly-consciousness-plane, and not that they are ignorant in toto, about worldly ways. Many persons remain in this delusion although they have a deep reverence for their divinity and faith in their saintliness. In a word, so many people mistake their strong repugnance to worldliness and coming down to the lower plane of worldliness, for their ignorance in the ways of the world and worldliness. The germ of delusiveness has been basically in-grafted in the very seed root and clay of the worldliness itself Man can't see his own face. He can see outward things but not inward. The whole world will be painted with the colour of what he himself is and on the top of that, without the knowledge of it. The fundamental flaw is there itself, in the seed, root and the clay, and not after a subsequent later growth and a temporary one. The play of " Maya " is there itself in the very making of man. Everyone interprets everything that one comes in contact with, in one's own personal way. And that creates mountains, gulfs and oceans of misunderstanding, ignorance an darkness between man and man.

    In one word, they don't think, they don't weigh. They act most automatically. Such actions proceed from them as are in full rhyming with the eternal truths, without the process of thinking and deciding. Abiding by eternal truths have been their very nature. They can't do otherwise. They can't violate these truths, even if they wished. That would be most unnatural for them. They have reduced all their wisdom and experience to certain, as it were, thumb-rules of living, and their life is automatically governed and guided by those thumb-rules, without absolutely any preliminaries visible to them that are delusively judging them from a distance and measuring them with their own yard. They have unlearnt all that they were once the masters of. The spiritual as also the worldly wisdom is there, though quite invisible to an ordinary man. People don't know about it, because saints never talk about details and do not care to make any knownness about them. Those alone who are nearest and have an eye to understand them can see those richest store-houses of their Divine as well as worldly wisdom. The outlooks and aims and objects of the saints and worldly people being different and even contradictory, unless one looks with the eye and mentality of the other, there arise so many chances of misunderstandings.

    To give a crude simile, saints are like persons who had once hundreds of difficulties failures experiments and labours and in the end had the final success of churning out the nectar, but who, after the attainment, had swept out everything about the working, so as to leave no clue and no trace whatsoever for outsiders to have any idea about the churning-work having been undertaken there and the nectar having been already obtained. They are with their nectar-dishes and ambrosial balms in their possession and at their disposal but kept completely concealed from the public view or from being known to anyone else except their comrades of the same status or their true disciples. Such saints have, so to say, evolved all their wisdom into their instinctive or super-conscious faculties. In the matter of the different ways of solving the problems of life that go to explain the riddles of God, Soul, Universe, Divine Laws, Eternal Truths, etc., there too, the knowledge is there in quite an abstract and subtle form and in the shape of involved knowledge. They may not be able to quote or set up a proposition in a certain graspable form in the prevalent mode an method of a certain age or of a certain type of education, but in all its minuteness, every variety of the Divine knowledge is there.

    That is so because he has obtained That Final most Divine knowledge, having known which, nothing remains unknown. 

283. The above mentioned small-most trivial worldly details that the Founder has in his mind are nothing to the man of the world just as an untruthful or dishonest act is nothing to the people of a particular brand, but he has narrated them to show how the Founder's mind began being illuminated regarding the world. Experience is the best school-master, although the fees are extremely heavy, mostly in the shape of sufferings and sorrows. Whatever is stated written or advised, as the essence of experience for the benefit of the followers, looks like Greek and Latin to the in-experienced men. But if the latter have wisdom, they should treasure up things that they find value-less but which higher souls call invaluable, for their future guidance in due course when any trying circumstances or occasion of an undreamt nature arise.

    It was an overhauling transformation. When each one of any two persons is a Tartar and a match for another, their dealings go on very smoothly and happily. It is only when land-animals and water-animals come in closest contact and have to live in foreign atmospheres and circumstances, that the highest troubles arise, the widest opening and illumination of the eyes is attained, the troubled or distressed side gets wonderstruck, and takes surprise fully viewing and narrating the never-imagined new experiences.

284. One night he was in communion with Mother, when Mother cooled him down, " Is it not what every religious man has stated that the world is full of wickedness? Hast thou thyself not written the same thing in the books? Where is then the wonder and the cause for shockingness and droopingness?? One highly educated man in Ahmedabad told the Founder in a most soothing manner, " Did you know it for the first time today? that the world is wicked selfish and ungrateful?" Said the Founder " No, but experience and realisation is quite a different indescribable, invaluable thing. The extent had remained unknown. And that, I have realised only now at the fag-end of my life."

285. The Founder said to himself that he was not destined to do something great with the solid and substantial assistance of men, money and material by the public. He came to the conclusion Mother wants to work in his own usual manner running his show single-handed and single-minded and single-pursed. The only big change was that when the world had turned a deaf ear to his request, Founder became more practical and, in a way, opened his religious-relief-hospital. The Founder with his wonderful miraculous powers went on relieving different varieties of miseries working hard day and night  for the success of persons that come to him ; with a clear understanding  which he now began to give persons that came to him in unambiguous words, about their having something to do ( whatever they liked ), to help him to be in financial position  to do Mother's Work as he best thought  fit. The Founder had helplessly no other go. A gent's appeal to the world had most miserably failed. The sudden change from free religious service to charges however nominal created a lot of unpleasantness. The Founder experienced another strange variety of worldly people. People would get relief from their worldly troubles at a nominal money parting and then would call that remuneration for the relief they had, to be a charity. He had to explain to them thus," You go to a doctor. He cures you. You pay off the bill. Do you ever talk ??" You purchased a certain model of radio and invite us, whenever you switched it on. Don't fail to consult us whenever you want to change it and give a weekly or a monthly report about how much the radio fares?  Do you ?? What a despicable lust for the power, so many people have in respect of religion, over religious institutes and religious persons !!! It is the world itself that drives saints to the absolute need of kicking the world. If they don't, the world would swallow them up.

286. Founder said to himself," We would laugh when anyone would talk to them like the above, but exactly that is the mentality of so many and most of the persons that came to me.They say," Marwaris count their interest thrice, to be for the months of Holi, Shimga and Falgun. "

287. The Founder is very bitter when he repeats," There is no Choo Mantar under Mai-ism " because he has seen mountains of ignorance on all sides. There is a class of most credulous persons, who believe in God's help coming forth in physically impossible ways and they would sit hand-folded. There is another class of atheistic or agnostic men who cannot see God's hand in any happening, however convincing it may be to the ordinary believer. There is, however, the third variety of world-dipped beings, who keep their doors always closed and locked against any hearing or thinking about what does not affect them on the purely materialistic plane. Such people never waste an atom of their physical or mental energy nor do they render any service or make any sacrifice, however small, which does not go to help their little dwarfed narrowed down confined selves.

288. Founder states," Mother's Grace I experienced from stage to stage and step to step while Mai Niwas construction was undertaken and the Founder entered Mai Niwas at the midnight hour of 4-3-1949, all alone himself and his MOTHER. A grand function  of Mother's worship was held on Friday, 1st April 1949, when more than five hundred people  attended the worship." Founder continues," Mother's Grace is to be enjoyed in hardships when we are saved. In an elephant and horse rider combat, the rider has to snatch away a thousand-rupee-note attached to the elephant's tusk. Thousands of people enjoy the game. Where-from does the breath-suspending interest proceed? It is from the rider's life-risk."

You see the elephant just near the horse. The whole spectator world shouts out " caught, caught, dead, dead.""The heartthrobs, the eyes get wet, breath stops. " The horse jumps away and escapes the elephant's grip. The cry of indescribable joy rends the skies."

Founder says," That is the pleasure of the devotee, which the devotees alone and Mother alone can enjoy. The world only knows calling the rider a fool for risking his life for the sake of a thousand rupee note. In reality, the note is nothing to the rider. He would enjoy the game even if one rupee note was there.

289. To reach the stage of being able to understand and appreciate how wonderfully Mother manages to save situations of Her devotees is in itself a blessedness, denied to so many of us. Thereafter comes the class of people who understand and appreciate but are selfish and ungrateful. Then comes the class of people who understand and appreciate and are grateful and service rendering, but who have no higher joy than the materialistic one of sense -pleasure and so and so forth.

The Founder has most carefully , as a result of his religious experience  spread over so many years , described the evolutionary  measures and stages in " Mother's Message " in pages 19 to 22     , under the heading " The process of evolution  for Mother's Followers  on attainment of Guru's Grace and Mother's Mercy " and the different stages of evolution in pages 40 to 45 of " Mai Guru Ananya Bhakti."

290. The Founder does not attach great value to what the world thinks of him, but he is extremely anxious to leave a record of Mother's Grace instances. He says," At least, let this new humbug disappear: Where is God and how is God going to help us ?? The very first foundation laying stone. One thing is people deny God, in the first instance, and the more important thing is, if God is there, they want Him to serve them. They want God as a servant and not as their Master or Ideal for worship, spiritual progress and other allied religious selfless achievements.

291. The midnight hour of the Friday night of 4-3-1949 was a memorable moment for the Founder, when he entered Mai Niwas. Every man has his own history and the real history of every great man in the world, is entirely in oblivion. That is so for the main reason already explained viz., that the world does not want it. None likes entering the kitchen of the host, full of smokes, dirt and things lying in sixes and sevens. The host must get things prepared and serve his guests with a smiling face on the luxurious dinners table. The class of dinners-inviters are however exceptions and they do relish certain things which the dinners are getting a headache to be bored with. This book is written wholly for them that have desirous of " becoming " and who are in the end, to be the servers and not the dinners.

The founder had not informed a single soul about his desire to enter Mai Niwas on that particular night. He had a strong desire to enter it alone because he did not know how he would pass that first night with Mother, whether he would be weeping profusely or faint or he would have the Mother's vision or some revelations be made and what not. One thing he was sure of, something would take place. At about eleven that night, some Mai-ist came to see him off on the Grant Road Station. He insisted on accompanying him. He said he would leave him in his place " Mai Niwas " and return. The Founder could not divulge his intention. He declined his company as courteously as he can, but the other man purchased two-second class tickets and got into the train hurriedly and accompanied him to Santa Cruz. On reaching the Santa Cruz station, the Founder had to make it clear," You may go back. I want to enter Mai Niwas all alone." The man, however, could not understand the mystic force behind his very forceful request; and purely with the only idea of kindness and goodness beckoned a taxi-walla to come up, saying that he would leave the Founder and return in the same taxi. Before however, the taxi came up, he had such an intense stomach-ache that he could not stand on the ground. He actually fell down on the ground. The taxi-waallaa seeing the miserable plight turned his wheel and went away to the east through the crossing. The Founder and the Mai-ist, without a word being talked over, understood each other in their own minds. " Mother is insistent on the Founder entering the Mai Niwas all alone." The Founder most entreatingly said," You speak out that you are not going to accompany me and are returning straight from here, Mother will remove your pain immediately."The man helplessly said,"Yes, if Mother and you are insistent on that point, I am surely returning." Just at that moment, the pain disappeared, a train was then just getting into the yard and without any further exchange of words, he ran to the station, just as so many men do, to catch their trains in mornings while going to their offices.

The Founder was in a way trembling within himself. This incident made him sure, something unusual was in store for him that night. It was practically two minutes to twelve when he reached the Mai Niwas door. He opened it. It was a ground floor building with vast vistas of open lands on all its sides., a solitary construction with the nearest building, far away. The west was unbuilt right up to the sea. He did not know anyone there. It was a dark night. No streetlamp nearby. He felt the fear. There was none to save him if he was attacked from any of the sides.

He searched for a candle packet and the matchbox packet at the nearest spot, where he had placed them when he last visited. They were not there. This made his heartthrob with fear. "What? Had Mother intended that he belaboured that night ?" He stood on the otta for nearly twenty minutes, and then laughed outright at the idea how Mother exacts and snatches hymns and prayers from Her devotees. Her worship praise and prostration, etc, are at the point of a bayonet, striking fear and showing actual pictures of the doomed fate . for the first time, he got such an intense meaning of what was meant by a boon-giving -hand and a deadly weapon in another. It meant something which so many devotees daily worshipping seldom realise. It meant "If you are straight devotional good kind philanthropic, Divine -Law-Obedient, there is none so kind and Merciful as Myself to protect you, to save you, to uplift you, to emancipate you. But if you are crooked, God-denying, wicked, cruel, selfish and sinful, just look at the deadly weapons in my other hands. Just see my hands with a decapitated head and a sword. Just see my garland of human skulls."

 He had a tremor passing through the whole body. There was no light, no man to shout to or approach. At that dead night hour, how can he go to his acquaintances in Santa Cruz ?? Shouting in Bombay after twelve is a social crime. He made bold to get in the black dark near the Mother's picture allowing the outside faintest light to relieve his fear, by keeping the doors open.

The first experience of his life. The Mother's picture was Kali like. He began to sweat and perspire. For the first time, he got a different picture of his beliefs. " Was he all along under a delusion? Was the " Mother Ideal " only a  human making of his own brains? In reality and actuality was mother, Kali ?? Was not the Mother conception which he had entertained, one of the aspects of Kali, instead of the actual thing being that Kali was one of the aspects of Mother, as he believed and taught till now, from 1932 to 1949 ?? "

"Which was true? Mother appeared temporarily as Kali? Just at this hour? Or that Kali had allowed Herself to be worshipped and being preached as Mother, till now ??"

He prostrated. He would be for few minutes inside with Mother and then ten times those minutes outside on the otta in the open, wherefrom he can see the outside if anyone is coming to deal with him in a hurtful manner.

He passed over an hour. He decided with a great courage to lift up the image, carry it to the otta and sleep on the otta. He was on the point of doing a sacrilegious work. If it was Mother, any handling with Her was excusable, but if it was Kali ?? Mother, he can take in his arm-pit, but, Kali? the glittering sword, thirsty for human blood, was there.

He mustered up all courage. He decided first to pray as " Mother " and then reconcile both conceptions. When there is a dead silence, one that dares to break that silence gets more afraid. He thought of slowly singing but his sound cannot come out of the throat. He hoped he would overcome this terrifying fear by making up his mind to absorb in the Mother's ocean of Love.

Sang he to himself, Karunaa Sen Abataka Badhaa, Karunaasen MiliMaai

करूणासे अबतक बढा करूनासे मिली माई

karunaasen Dukh Maaranaa ho Karunaa Chhoti na Jaai

करूणासे दुःख  मारना हो करूणा छुटी न जाई

" I have grown old, faring ( with my life and world ) with Thy Mercy alone. It is with Thy Mercy alone that I have gained Thee, Oh Mother( I have no merit of my own). It is only out of pity for the suffering world that I have preached Thee ( with no other ambition or gain-desire), even inviting misery and death. Now I only pray that  my pity may not get relaxed and your Mercy on me may not be at all diminished."

" Jo Kucha Kiyaa, So tune Kiyaa, Men Kachhu Jaanata Naai.

जो कुछ किया सो तुनेकिया मै कछु जान त नाई

Teri Tunhi Samaala le, men Japa Rahaahun Maai.

तेरी तुही संभाल ले , मै जप रहा हु माई

Whatever has been done, is done by Thee. I know not a bit of it. Your matters, you take charge and care of. I am only for sitting in a corner at Thy Lotus Feet, all while repeating Thy name Jay Maai "

As he went on repeating these two couplets, on one side his fear was getting vanished, his conviction was coming up " Mother's one aspect was Kaali," but more strange than both was the phosphorescent increasing light that the Mother's Image was getting.

He had a limitless joy which was increasing from minute to minute as he found the image was gaining in light by his alternative repetitions of " Jay Mai Jay Markand Mai " and the two couplets. The light radiating from the image was spreading aura and brightness of 5, 10, 15, 20 and higher and higher watts electric bulb.

He had now the fullest courage. He had tears of joy and relief. During the period of fright or a calamity, a man keeps up his courage, but when both disappear and one's own person or protector comes up, tears begin to flow and the heart is leaping to unburden itself, by narrating to the smallest detail.

Said he," If you have to be, You be Kaali if you like, to the wicked world, but don't punish me for praying to Thee for being Mother to one and all, righteous or wicked. Be, as you think best if that can straighten only on realising the terrors of Thy wrathfulness. To me, you remain Mother." " don't you see how timid and trembling I am? More than  a woman, a lamb or a deer  ?" " To me at least, you be Mother. for others, you know best  what to be and to whom."

 He became a bit free, constraint ridden, smileful and liberty-taking with Mother, as Her child.

"You made me so, is it not ?"

Said he laughingly," You won't retain phosphorescent light all night over. So I take you out. We shall both be sleeping together on the otta. " He was not certain when the light would get extinguished. So he most hurriedly took out his carpet and spread it on the otta and went to lift the image."

As he thrust his both hands behind the back of the image, his hand touched some packets. He pulled them out. In one hand came the candle packet and in another the match-box packet.

The Founder's suspicious nature did not leave him even there. He fell into the thought world ocean of recollection, to ascertain and decide if it was not he who had by mistake put the packets behind the image instead of on the nearest window sill ??

He asked himself," Might it be? That someone who accompanied him the previous day wisely thought, someone would take them away from the window, and so better place them behind the image !! "

As soon as that idea came, that last idea's coming up synchronised with the Mother's light disappearing !!! 

He was sorry. His wrinkles went up. He condemned himself for his suspicious nature, but at the same time not without a feeling of repulsiveness at the idea of Mother's ways being so unrelenting.

His brains began to recollect two previous experiences. One when there was a light at one of the Bombay suburbs in a kitchen when he prayed and which remained for nearly half an hour  ( referred to later ). The other when in Vile Parle ablaze appeared from the altar. This was the third experience of the type. There were some more, as when he runningly passed through dark nights after midnight sometime, but they were of lights which did not last longer than two to three minutes. This was in Ahmedabad when one night he grew very desperate and left his house with " This is Thy world and its response to Thy work. Thou and Thy world, do whatever you like. I have nothing to do with Thy world from today."As he went out in the streets, one after another, every fourth or fifth bungalow  ( right from Pritamnagar to Bhadra Kali  ) showed switching on of lights. His vexation turned to an outright laughter saying," Thy highest pleasure, it seems, is vexing me. Instead of switching electric lights, why don't you switch on the true illumination lights  of everyone that can help Thy cause and work ?" He got consoled, laughed fully and returned home happy.

 He also remembered and laughed at his folly., when he had got wrathful in Ahmedabad Hospital on Mother ceasing to attend on him because he had a suspicion.

He accepted this time Mother's decision. " If after so much experience, I am nothing better than a street man, Mother is more than fully justified in withdrawing Her presence ." He yielded, biting his lips though without condemning himself for his superstitious nature, rather than atheistic nature.

To think more about the matter was to displease Mother. One does not know which moment he is completely safe if he has a full picture of what can happen at the very next second of the safest position. It is often that our ignorance keeps up our drunkenness, impudence, bravery and courage. The more a man is able to realise the whole picture of things that can happen, the more lamb-like meek and docile and yielding and humble and almost servile he becomes.

Just as a child that has committed something wrong keeps complete silence and engages itself in some harmless occupation, wishing that Mother may also forget or at least forgives, the Founder unmurmuringly  lighted the candle with the match-box and placed the candle in the nearest window and began to repeat his " Jay Mai Jay Markand Mai."

But the terribleness was not yet completely over. A wind-blow out the candle and he saw a black-figure, with a hat looking through the bars of the window. Was it a mental fear ?? Was it an apparition, a ghost, a spectre, a phantom? Was it some thief or robber? The figure was moving in its body. The Founder in a tremulous voice, with an artificial sound strength, shouted," Kon ", " Who "?  The reply was" Kholo.","Open". The Founder lighted another candle, not daring to go near the window where the first candle stood. and just within few inches therefrom the figure was standing. The Founder opened the door.

The way in which the stranger got in, gave the Founder the reason to be sure, there was nothing like a danger. The man got in, stood in front of him, salaamed him in a quick military alert manner. When he salaamed, not only all fear disappeared but the Founder had the joy, he had perhaps a companion for the whole night. For it was nearly two o'clock and he can show the kindness of  " Where can you go so late? you better sleep here and go in the morning ". He began to think he would ask some friend  (B.C.W.) of his to sleep with him from the next day till the place become fearless.

The following conversation followed. " Who are you, Sir? Are you the owner? " " No. The Owner is this Mother." ( Pointing out the Image ). I am only Her worshipper and preacher. What's your name? What have been doing ?"

" I am a Gurkha. My name is Devasing. This open plot that adjoins your land is being built over. The Sheth has engaged me this evening, from next Monday".

" What ?? Your appointment is only today ?" ( Founder seeing, how Mother has made the arrangements for his protection, the very day that he was to come to the solitary " Mai Niwas."

" Yes Sir," I thought " what is the use of loitering here and there "? At about ten o'clock night I decided. " I can go to the place which I can call mine with a right as a Gurkha of the place, wherefrom none can drive me out. So I did not wait for two days more and I came over here. Sir, were you with some man at Santa Cruz Station? Did you come this night? "

"Yes, did you see me? "

"Yes, sir, the man returned by the next train. He had some giddiness and pain. So you called but dismissed a taxi. He returned and you came over. Is it not? I came by the very same train".

"Oh, I see". The Founder was full of wonderfulness and gratitude. Mother had arranged for his guard, just on duty and immediately after him."

"Did you spend your time somewhere? "

" No sir, I was only following you. I was just lying in a corner on my own land. I saw first it was all dark. Then came a strong light. I thought there was a electric light, but sometime after there was only a small candlelight. So I was surprised and came to inquire."

The Founder swallowed up the answer about " the strong light."

" Yes, Where are you sleeping ? on the ground itself ?" You can sleep here. I have no objection."

The man preferred to sleep on the otta, in the open air. The Founder was kind to him that night, gave him servant's bedding, water jug and some tiffin food.

The Gurkha turned out to be religious. He was paid a small pay by the Founder. He served the Founder treating him as his master and Guru, practically till may 1950, when the adjoining plot to the east was constructed and occupied by tenants.

Whenever Founder remembers this event, he sings," Jao fir Junglemen Ranmen Dekhonge Gulzar hay जाओ  फिर जंगलमें रणमें देखोंगे गुलझार है । ." " Go the to a forest, or a desert, everything is O.K."

A palace and a rose garden kept ready by Mother for you. This book is for swans. Mother likes to be surrounded with swans whose hearts will overflow with love, cheerfulness and gratitude, on Her showing  such playful proofs of acceptance by Her."

292. The next day the Founder informed all concerned about his having gone to stay at Mai Niwas, stating especially to his out-side Mai-ists that a great facility was now made, for them in as much as, so long as he was not out of Bombay, he would be found all the twenty four hours in " Mai Niwas " and that none would have to go back  at any hour  for the reason that  he was not at a certain place. There were so many instances of Mai-ists having only a few hours at their disposal, to get disappointed, on not finding him. He made very strict two rules. As far as possible, he was never to be away from the Lotus Feet of Mother and none was permitted to sleep there except those who were true Mai-ists and came over from mofussil, and they too for not, more than consecutive three nights. Even those that they came to see him at 11 p.m. had to go back at 1.30 a.m. or 2 a.m. train. He never stirred out from 4-3-1949 to 12-9-1949  when the taxi took him to the V.T. Station for going to Madras [ Chennai ]. At Madras too,  where he went for fulfilling Mother's command, he was for over a month in one house only, without having a single look at anything of Madras except some four places where Mother's worship was conducted on a grand scale. In a word, he realised that although such a vow of confinement entailed  a lot of daily inconveniences, loses and handicaps and perhaps some irregularity of health  for want of outdoor exercise , that brought in a strong inviolable control  over free moment, which enabled him to sweep out  the largest portion of the worldly touch , whatever little he had.

The Founder began to say to others," If you want real peace of mind, true understanding and overflows of devotion, confine your body in a particular place, your tongue in a mouth and your eye-pupils within their eye-lids, as far as you can. Then alone you can have an introspection, self-control and true understanding  of Divine wisdom  and supernatural powers to afford relief  to others, as curing illnesses, etc."

The worldly man raises his cry, calling it impossible, but if he sympathises with the said teaching, and decide to abide by it, he will find that he is gradually able to throw off more than three fourth of the mental and physical burden he is daily carrying.

That is the first lesson which Mai Swarupa gives to them that come to him. First, create the amplest leisure of time by withdrawing yourself from so many useless physical and mental activities. Next, preserve your sexual energy. Third thing, see that you establish a saintly contact. Contact with God and Guru. If nothing can be done, see that you are for the maximum hours in a  day, in presence of one superior to you in any realm, religious, social or even a professional. What pinches a man in carrying out this rule is that in contact with his inferiors, he is a master and worshipped whereas with superiors, he has to be a servant and a worshipper.

The Founder says,"As a matter of fact, the attainment of true religiosity is based on just the contradictory qualities for a truly worldly man, and therefore it is, that nothing higher than a mere hypo-critic pretended religiosity is only possible. "Humanity, gratefulness, forgiving, pleasure of giving, truthfulness, mercifulness, etc. - these are the very first foundations of true Religiosity. How can an average modern  man, with swollen headedness that values his " I "  at a hundredfold value  of its real worth, with a selfishness that requires the whole circle of people around him to serve him, with a greed and hard heartlessness  of snatching away the last thing he can from others, with an ungratefulness resulting from " whatever is done for him is is much less",  with a perverted mind with boasts of its intellect of befooling  others with false stories  and pretexts, and which his " Self " too great for ant the smallest offence (?)to be forgiven, master even the first lessons of true religiosity ??

That lot is alright for being stamped as " Religious ", on their doing some external things or pleasing some of its certifiers. The initiate's outlook has first to be changed and his delusion and wrong values, his perversions, false definitions, have to be effaced and wiped out. First thing is, you must have a conviction, you are on wrong and defective lines or there is a need for improvement. Then alone can come the thinking out of a remedy, then, an application and an effort and repetition of effort, and then alone the mending matters and then success.

293. The greatest difficulty in dealing with modern Hindus is that they are half-baked. They have not that faith and reverence of the olden times due to a Guru and they do not see for themselves the wide gulf lying between knowing a certain truth through hearing or reading, and the mastery of the said truth. They have no patience and no inclination for the smallest practice. Any self-controlled or realised man is to them, either a Mr. so and So., or a Bhagwan or Bapji or a Maharaj, who is simply to be revered and prostrated or served from a distance. He is never to be studied, obeyed, imitated or followed.

294. The great truth which the Founder had experienced ( all truths are known to everybody who is a Hindu; the only thing is he has not learnt to set value or develop the restfulness thereof and never determined to practice anything ) - is that the energy and the exertion required to do or  achieve a certain thing  is nothing, compared to the energy required to overcome obstructions and temptations; and that side  has remained mostly untouched by most of the religious preachers.  Best teachers are silent there and that is so because, everything said about this negative side strikes foreign and harsh and is mostly unbelievable for them, who have never left their shores nor have really intended leaving them. With the greatest difficulty, one can be shaken to be stirred to action. Who would then extinguish the small sparks of desire to move with the discouraging talks of obstructions and oppositions on the way !!! A new walk-tiresome pilgrim goes his way and after a few steps asks the returning pilgrims " How much remains now"? The said mentality of the returning says," Only little now remains ", although as a matter of fact, the new pilgrim has not practically begun yet. That is the wise man's way. How to proceed straight to your destination " is much easier teaching than " How to overcome the difficulties, handicaps, how to evade pitfalls, temptations, inimical forces, etc. on your way and in your strenuous efforts towards the destination."The latter is much harder teaching. In as much as each man's difficulties temperaments, points of strength and weakness, are different, for a true and solid progress, the relation of the Guru and Shishya, become indispensable. If patent medicines and "self-English-teachers" had served the purpose of the world there would have been no hospitals and no colleges. The Founder so much wished the disturbing and annoying world to leave him alone; he would shout, he had decided to live his life as a recluse as per certain principles, but it went hard to make the world accept it. This extremely great practical difficulty is overcome by the well-known practice of taking up the saffron robe. That rob, with a head shave, is more than the ear-deafening ringing bell saying " Oh world? you have to act with me in a particular way and with a particular notion and belief regarding me ". That was however not possible for the Founder, as explained before.

295. The Founder has one idea. The world takes a decade to have an idea and inclination of finding in someone man greater religiosity than others, still more decades to approach him, yet some more to understand him, etc. By the time the world is ready to hear him, the days are over.  So he was for making the walls of Mai Niwas speak for what principles it stood. In a poor man's way, he cut important pieces from all his writings and graced the wall pasting those printed extracts on cardboards and nailing them on the walls. He further purchased a cupboard in which he placed all the copies he had and with bold letters put up a slip on the cupboard " FREE FOR ALL. DEMAND ANY COPY ". He would be sitting on the verandah and invite whoever looking at Mai Niwas, with some religious interest, would have a chat for an hour or two and give a copy of each of his books, which the visitor would like to accept. The Founder had never made money out of the books he had printed. All were handed or sent free, although there were some limited few persons ( less than  1 per cent ) who of themselves sent some amount by way of its price with a request for Mai Blessings.

296.Just near the main entrance , he affixed typed copies of the following :-

(a) Rules and Regulations , regarding place , persons and programmes.

(b) Re.Attainment of Mother's Grace

(c) Re: Prayers and meditation , etc.

They are copied out here below, as they show the aims and objects of Mai-Niwas.

297. Rules and regulations regarding Place , Persons and Programmes 

1] Don't pollute the purity of this place of Mother-worship and Mother's residence , by worldly talk, idle gossiping or business. 

 2] Your coming here must be for some specific purpose of dealing with Mother as , for Prayer, worship, Mantra, solving difficulties, true religious understanding etc.  

3] Observe as much as silence as possible. Your talks about even the casual things  with your friends should be in a tone of whisper and only when inevitable.

  4] Don't seek forming acquaintances here  or ask questions of self-interest or curiosity.

 5] The only talk permissible here is that of God, Mother and Religion. Politics is strictly forbidden here.  

6]  Leave the place as soon as your specific work or programme is finished Don't waste precious time of yours and of others. 

7] None is permitted to sleep here except servants and outside visitors  coming for Mother's worship from Mofusil places  and persons that are specially permitted  for specific reasons. 

8] No outsider who is not a known Mai-ist is permitted to halt here  and the latter for three nights only and with his own arrangements for everything.

 9] Everyone standing, sitting or stopping under this roof has to pass his time with best behavior and practically in devotional mood with strict observance of this Mai-istic  tenets : - a) Spirit of practical sisterhood and brotherhood b) No distinction of cast, creed, colour, community, parentage , sex, literacy, position, status, means etc.  c) Love in the form of  reverence, helping co-operation, kindness etc. d) Activity of selfless service. e) Devotional approach and attitude. f) Unconditional cheerful self-surrender to Mother's Divine Will.

MAI MARKAND 

Founder - Mother's Lodge 

10-6-1949

Mother's Day

(Friday)

298. Re : Attainment of Mother's Grace 

 [1] Everyone needs Mother's Grace at every step, in this tempestuous time. [2] God approached as Mother, is more suited for Grace as 'Mother ' is Mercy , while Father is Justice. [3] Speaking about worldly benefits alone  ( not to speak of spiritual benefits ), Mother has wonderfully fulfilled desires of Her devotees. Mother is at their beck and call  as She wants to teach Her sons and daughters the simplest, straight and speedy Royal Road to health, wealth, peace , prosperity and happiness, through the observance of the fundamental  principles preached under Mai-ism. [4] The poor have become prosperous, patients of incurable disease have become healthy, lunatics have become wise , the homeless have built bungalows, the unemployed have become officers , unmarried have got suitable matches, marital disunions have been reconciled, connubial relations have been relishing, hearts breaks have been healed up,  worries of impending calamities have been tided over, barren women have delivered sons, downfalls from great heights have been hurtless, business have flourished, litigation have succeeded, relief of solid help and entire removal of miseries have happened and many other miracles have happened on staunch devotion to Mother. [5] Persons desirous of attaining Mother's Grace  should approach Founder for  a long chat by previous appointment. [6] Detailed study of ' Mother's Message ' and serious reading of ' Mother's Thousand Names '  will enable the aspirants to decide   if the path and philosophy of Mai-ism will suit them. Truly religious persons will find Mai-ism  to be most suited. People with unprejudiced open universal and straight mentality  with modernized way of living, judging and believing  will immediately accept Mai-ism as it does not in any way interfere with one's own  ancestral religion and worship. [7] Once the aspirant feels to be in natural waters under Mai-ism, he has simply to climb up by leaps and bounds.  [8] He has to make up his mind to set aside certain hours for daily spiritual work of devotion. [9] The Sadhak will be himself wondering  at the most favorable happenings  and at his spiritual progress. He will feel indescribable joy and beatitude-full breeze of Mother's Grace. He will see he has some supernatural powers, is helped by unseen in every detail. He will be sure he is not the same person as before , that he has sublimated his soul. In a word, he will have a conviction that mother has showered Her Grace  on him. [10] What is true for one man is true for another, and equally or much more true  for a woman, under Mai-ism,  as a woman has a softer heart , more suited for devotion and Mother's pity-invocation.

MAI MARKAND 

Founder - Mother's Lodge

1-7-1949

Mother's Day

(Friday) 

299.Regarding Prayers and Meditations Etc. 

 {1} Persons desirous of offering a prayer or practising meditation should be pre-arranged details on consultation with the Founder. {2} Prayers intensely offered have been mercifully answered. {3} Prayers are to be for:- a) Legitimate gains only. b)Removing miseries only. c) Removal of sins. d) General smooth running of worldly life of oneself and family. e) Seeing and relishing and living the higher life, above money making and sense living. f) Enlisting oneself in Mother's service. g) The desire for evolution and emancipation, success in striving and struggling to go higher for introspective powers, knowledge, vision, devotion, meditation, renunciation, progress, peace, relief and happiness. h) Intensifying the spirit of service to all children of Mother and to Mother. I) Being prepared for unconditional self-surrender to the Divine Will of Mother. {4} Black-magic about harming or exploiting others results in Mother's Wrathfulness. {5} Prayers offered here for enslaving others or subjugating them to one's own will, have been treated most mercilessly by Mother. {6} No purely personal aggressive, illegitimate gains here. No exemption from sexual sin here.{7} Please don't forget that Mother is the Final-most-Mother; God as Universal Mother; Mother to every one of any religion or to anyone who approaches Her as a child with Love and Service to all her children, Devotion and Surrender to Her Will.  {8} Noblest prayers are - a) Let all be happy. b) Let none suffer from pain and misery c) make use of me, my humble service for Thee and Thy children d) Depute Thy devotees to successfully serve as saviours of this world of ignorance and sin. {9} Prayer for oneself is not most efficacious. The best prayer is for others or for Universal Welfare, as then, others will pray for you and in case of that failing, Mother will not wait for your prayers and will run down to you, for your relief and to help you, even before you pray.

Meditation 

This can be subjective, objective or through geometrical figures. Consult the Founder.

MAI MARKAND 

Founder - Mother's Lodge 

1-7-1949

Mother's Day

(Friday)

300. To have an idea about the personal nature of the Founder, the following two descriptions , one being the observation by an interviewer when the Founder was sin silent serious hours with his associates and the other when he was sin his evening easy-going mood , may be read with interest.

The silent meeting interviewer first saw him at his temporary residence on Tagore Road in Santa Cruz, Bombay [Mumbai] at about 8 p.m. on  a Tuesday in 1940. He describes his interview as under :

  I had interviewed the Master in 1940 on a Tuesday at his own place , when I accompanied one of my literary and devotional friends who was not new to the meeting.  The Master's programme on Friday nights is quite different from that of silent meetings on Tuesdays, when only the nearest people gathered around him."

The Master was simultaneously dealing with around twelve persons when I entered the place , sisters and brothers Here was a silent sitting , without a single person knowing or trying to know what was passing in other's mind or between the Master and each one of them. , in the most powerful and unambiguous authoritative language of silence.   In the midst of a big hall, there was a swing on which the Master was lying with pillows under the head and sides , with a hanging leg  with which at long intervals, after fifteen to twenty minutes, he was giving a slight motion  to the swing. He wore a malmal shirt   and a loosely tied dhoti.The shirt which was never buttoned up and never symmetrically put up ( and I heard later, was more often than not, put up reversely ), immediately assured  even the most unmindful observer about the absolutely trivial value the wearer had for the external appearance  , not only of garments, but of everything which did not go immediately and directly to go to help anyone in then matter of increasing one's religiosity or hastening the evolution of one's soul. The consciousness itself  which would see the difference of nudity, saffron robe or whatever was wrapped round the body, rich or poor , new or old , torn or just stitched, was not there.Each one that came in , entered with pin-drop silence, prostrated; and on receiving blessings took a suitable seat where from the face of the Master could be seen. . The blessings differed with every person.

" Some prostrators  , he would at once rise with a jerk, some gradually and slowly , some he will allow  to continue prostrating  for over five minutes.  Regarding some , he would smoothly moves his hand  over the prostrating back, some he would rise up with the catching and lifting up the chin  , some by petting strokes,  some by contacting their heads with with pointed ad forcefully placed pressing fingers . Some he would raise up  by a snip of fingers, some by slowly moving the hand over the forehead. No two persons were  blessed in the same manner , which made it clear to any one practically stepping into the steep silent path, that the blessing method indicated very generally ( for others), the rung on which the blessed person stood  with reference to God Guru and one's self. By the subtle most observation  of the change in the face colour before prostration , and after the blessing , one became struck with the notion of certainty , that the prostrator had fully received certain individualistic instruction  which the Master had carried home right into the heart of the disciple.

" Between the arrival and departure , and the prostrations and blessings, there was nothing but a silent pause and exchange of eyes and the look and the respectful, obedient and amiable demeanor. The spirit imbibing sublime process began for each disciple with an earnest  deeply profound staring at the luminous figure of the Master  and keeping the eyes closed with a single-minded  or blank meditation , except at long intervals , when the eyes are opened for few seconds again to close. They opened up, as if the spiritual stuff  they had carried through their eyes into their very soul  had been assimilated consumed and exhausted and as if they had opened up to take up a new additional nectar-sip from the Master's heart and soul. In the Master's heart was seated the Universal Mother Mai, erect on Her Lion Throne. In the Master's pierceful yet lovely eyes was seated the encouraging and admonishing , watching, guiding and mending  Guru, as if at the helm of so many small barges of different souls of the disciples , swimming in the Infinite ocean of the  Merciful Universal Mother in Her Impersonal Aspect.

"The raising by a sudden jerk conveyed this idea to the prostrator ," You have come too early". Gradually and slowly raised prostrators were conveyed that Mother's Grace on them was slow but steady  and that they should continue with faith and patience. Continued prostration without the touch meant , the prostrator must severely repent for his certain  wrong acts or behavior before he can be entitled  to Mother's Grace as before the wrong conduct.

" The Master's hand-contact by inverted finger red-nail strokes after a long bending, meant " he was forgiven, but was warned not to repeat the wrong."Smooth moving of the hand on the back meant full sympathy in the bereavements for which the prostrator was not responsible.The lifting by the chin meant the Master or Mother or both loved the prostrator like a child, although there was enough of folly.Contact on head meant Master's sympathy   in efforts to understand analyze and set right the mental disquietude. The snip of a fingers meant cautioning against the very likely slip. Touching the forehead meant substitution of sublime thoughts for routine and rotten thoughts.

" New visitors coming for the first time , as I was one, were looked upon by the Master by a visible turn of his deep reading eyes, from the toe to the top.It was a sit were to decide to which class  a certain visitor belonged and which were the points of strength  and weakness in him.

"My heart was getting nervous, while I entered. How I was treated was a test of mine , not to be made known to me. In as much as I had accompanied one familiar with the Master, I had nothing of importance on the visible plane except that I very positively felt I was handed over a token, destined and desired by the Master to see him again. He made no reference to me , nor was there any inquiry about me.I very silently prostrated  and set with my companion after he had prostrated.

" Some new visitors had the more courteous  equal-planed treatment  by the master who bowed down to them  with joined hands , practically to make it awkward for the incoming to prostrate. If they still attempted, he would raise them up erect before they would bend to prostrate.

This really meant the visitor had not developed  the humility necessary for approaching a saint, if spiritual benefit was sought. On the superficial side , it meant the visitor was accepted as a passing friend only and not a follower.  Superficial people were pleased at the attitude , for they thought, it meant great honour with which they were received.

" If the Master saw that the new visitor was proud  of his wealth. knowledge or devotion, he would make place for him on the swing, crouching himself and request him to sit by his side on the swing . That would be the only occasion, when the Master would be breaking the silence of the meeting, by a loud welcoming and honoring  word.  That practically meant interruption for all silently meditating, to be as it were, on their caution and cease meditating.

"The Master would pamper to their vanity and dispose them off quickly. To the wealth proud , he would say" it is nice to talk about religion and philosophy and to boast about Jnana and Bhakti , but the wealth possessor is the real Vishnu on the earth.It is to him that big Swamijis and Bhaktas go for food and Ashram funds." To the Jnana proud the Master would say" Mere devotion is blind Real thing is Gnana , which you have so proficiently acquired .Even Shankaracharya says,"Without Gnana there is no Mukti even after hundred lives " To the devotion proud he would say,"You have your Ishta Devataa in your fist. Where is then any need for you , to be roaming here and there, prostrating to this saint and that saint ? What a small creature am I , for you to have comedown all your way?"

"Sometimes it would happen that some new visitor had only nervously by way of sheer obedience seated by his side and he would be feeling shame  as if he had been discourteous, he would feel he was only a savager in a savant's society. The Master would understand his feelings and after a talk of few words  with an endearing smile , point out the place in the midst of sitters. And the visitor thanking the Master with in his heart for the permission granted , would be sitting in an obscure corner on the floor with a mentality which felt and showed his inferiority complex.

" After one hour , the meeting silently dispersed, but my companion continued to sit. There was, however , even then. no enquiry about me. The Master looked deep in my eyes and began his universal broken language  and talk.

" At Belgaum in 1932, I went for an interview of a Mahatmaa. In spite of my solicitations for over ten minutes, he  did not permit me to touch his feet . There was a tug and tussle , till the saint in an authoritative loud tone told me," Don't snatch other's powers. If you have not enough, acquire it by your own self-mortification and austerity."

" There was a long pause. I could not decide , whether the Master tried to explain why he was paying the undeserving worldly people , in their own coins, or whether he meant, I would take away his austerity by greater contact and therefore he refrained from having anything  to do  with me. I tried as it were to seek the solution from he Master's eyes. I had a flash." How quickly mind mind raises me to be capacious enough to snatch his austerity !!! I laughed in my kind and got again the same former idea viz., Master wants and promises that I see him but after sometime. In a word my humility, sincerity or ardency was not up to the mark set up by the Master.  

This was the only talk. We got up to go. The Master looked at me , and strangely enough said," Will you please place those white shoes of mine in that corner outside in the lobby ?" I obeyed. I placed them outside in one corner. He was viewing me , as it were , was after me; said he," Not there , in the opposite corner". Be fore I move towards the other corner , he said," Better put them near the distant staircase outside where other shoes lie." Before I moved he asked," Are there any people there ?Just where there shoes have been placed. "

" I had no courage to make sound. I used my respectful head to say , there were. We left for our home.

" Nine years after, the heading of  a para in " The Indian Express " dated 21-9-1949 at Madras [ Chennai ] shivered me to the quick, with horripilation. It was " Sri Mai Swarup Mai Markand ". Some how I began to feel, this was the same highly devotional soul, as I had interviewed at Bombay [ Mumbai ]. On my personal enquiry , it was found to be true.I introduced myself and gave a little inkling as to the person whom I had accompanied. Said Maiji ( Founder )," So we have met again, as you rightly interpreted then . He added ," You have well preserved the token ", the very word ( of bank's language ) I had nine years before, ringing in my mind. He said these words with a cheerful smile , in which I could also read his fresh remembrance about the trying shoe service that I had rendered , as also his filled up sense of satisfaction; as also his speechless suggestion ' you require a bit more humility.'

301.In the other case , a visitor went to see him at Mai Niwas, in one of the evenings of 1949. It was not hard for him to find out the place, as it was the building on the crow fly straight road from the Santa Cruz West Station and the very last one.

He soon recognised the building , but to his great surprise, it had neither  the augustness  nor the silence of an Ashram. He could see that that the building had in front , a big hall with Mother's image facing East. There were two large doors to the main hall and two small rooms in the rare, with a smaller number room and a bath-room attached to the western bedroom and the eastern bedroom respectively.The building had all the appearance of the public place , without a watchman , but surely not an Ashram or a religious awe-inspiring , serenity radiating Institute.

What does one find ? Out-and-out rowdyism of  more than a dozen boys and girls below fourteen, simply a noise ,an ill-disciplined crowd of them.  Such a small building for an Ashram had five doors and anyone was coming in from any door and going away from any other and doing whatever one liked.

The stranger had naturally the courtesy of not going in straight without peeping through any of the doors , but he could infer that all that shouting , running , quarreling, beating, mutual chasing, escaping from one door and entering by another , etc., was going on , in the presence of some elderly person of that place who was simply seated on his cot in the bed-room, as if he were deaf and dumb  and blind and lame.  In the open spaces in the compound round the building , cows and bulls and dogs and bitches , some goats and lambs  , and some crows and kites were in full their mischievous shouting and playfulness.The bulls were raising dust with their horns , dogs were wagging their tails and following girls that were making  their way to the kitchen room ; crows were sipping waters  from the shallow pits  under the water pipe, out side in the compound and sitting in a row, one on each of the compound pillars' crests , goats were grazing  as trespassers in a private building compound  and lambs were skipping as if in the lands of their owners and their won backyards.

The visitor had not a shadow of doubt, this was the place. Not only that, but the so called "Saint" (?) was seated in. It was out and out  meaningless thing to enter the place or announce himself , where there was not even a silence as would permit ordinary speaking to be audible. He had a feeling of disgust. He laughed outright and said to himself," What sort of Ashram this is ?? and what sort of Saint he is ?? " The disgust abated itself after climax and turn to be the the feeling of a mere wasteful scoffing curiosity of only seeing things .

Some boys were running up on the terraces.Some girls were taking out  a harmonium from its box and three girls were simultaneously thrusting their fingers  and the harmonium was being snatched and run away with by one girl from another. Some were simply pulling out keys thereof. Some knowing that they could not succeed in getting the harmonium  took out a nice Tabla pair and some were striking  their hands as if it was a village drum; just as it were to see if there was an orange in the hollow below the leather top. Some boys were simply switching on and off  all the lights , and seeing the brilliance and its dis-appearance, leaving them all finally burning. In the corner , a small child brought by a girl  and left to play itself  was busy with taking  a time-piece from the Mother's pedestal  and playing by striking it to pieces against the stone floor.Some had entered the kitchen room , some, one group of five friendly girls, had taken out the tins of tea, sugar and Nestle's Milk, and were igniting the stove.Three were busy with closing  the entrance door  and offering their great resistance to push out the other girls  trying to force their way  in.  Some one had by that time  entered the bath room and closing the doors , had begun to bathe with a pears-soap.Some three boys had entered the lumber room adjoining and were quarreling over the blank paper packets , headed paper pads, old magazines, used stamps and blank note-books lying in the waste paper basket , having made a heap in the centre of all things they had thought  worth taking away. Some two three boys were busy with taking out biscuits and kajjus , grapes , oranges, etc. which were placed on a table in the bed room itself, just opposite the cot on which the so called saint , it looked, was seated.

The visitor was sick of the scene. His modern living mental set up of ," Who are you to touch my things ?" " With whose permission did you enter this place ? " Don't disturb me ", " Get out, you mischievous fellows ". " You rascals, have you come to steal away my things  ?" , was over powering him  and creating a contemptuous disgust. He laughed again and again in his mind " Should I meet him at all or go back ? ", without his knowing that someone had come ?? " When will this ruffian-ism be over ?"

Just then some cows and bulls climbed up the steps , and made their way to kitchen -door and put their mouths in vessels , kept open for them  as it were. All were disturbed, the gangs were broken and as all birds collect together  fly away on a gunshot , every one of them , boys and girls , ran away from the place to the streets around , leaving all things as they were, scattered and at sixes and sevens.

The visitor said to himself," All are gone . I loose nothing in seeing the man." He was taking his small time to decide . He saw there was a ring button  at the door. He again laughed. " What is the meaning of this electric bell ring button to this sort of place , with all doors open !! where even animals do not need any permission  to enter even the kitchen room !!

Suddenly, he heard a musical voice singing. He looked the man was coming out. He did come. The way he sang assured he was  perhaps the master of  singing in his young days , very likely an examiner in the music for some boys and girls' schools.

Out he came.He welcomed the visitor with " come in please ". The visitor stepped in.But where does the former asked him to take his seat or inquire of his name , place or purpose etc. ??

He turns to image and sing :

" Bazuza Khairaata Kachhhu Apanaa Nahi Hay." [ Except charity absolutely nothing is ours.]The visitor has evaporated from his eyes and mind.The visitor is more and more stunned with his manners of dealing with him; he has no curiosity or suspicion and no sympathetic interest to hear the words of the line sung. The man sings the same line over and over again , with different modulations, his feet are greatly prevented from dancing. Not by the presence of visitor but by his own body-heaviness.The hands were free.They clap beating time.The visitor is not only a distant spectator . He is not in the eye or the mind of the Founder.

Tears flow.He wipes them with the hand of his dhoti. Feet loose all shyness. They join the hands to make the music more beautiful and squeezing out the subtle-most feeling , pleasure from the inner-most treasure house of thought and wisdom and emotion.

There is , as it were chocking in the heart, which is being pulled out and being dedicated to Mother , in morsels. He weeps. He sits down, gets up, apply his head to the Lotus Feet of the Image. lifts up the Image, puts it back.

The zazbaa ( the spiritual foam and effervescence ) is slowly and slowly coming down with the repetitions of the line , just as a flood or fire gets more and more controllable and tamed and abated .It is something  which is being made to be consumed away.

It took some 15 to 20 minutes . He ran into the bathroom, not minding the visitor , hurriedly washed his face and came to welcome the visitor. " Come in Sir, come in. I am so sorry, I had to keep you waiting". His leaps trembled , when he said," but I was helpless." He effort-fully composed himself to be on the normal plane. " I think you were waiting since long. You were perhaps waiting for these locusts to disappear."

Said he," with a smile of deep meaning," Unless you be like children , you can't enter the kingdom of heaven." " You were not a child and so you could not enter. " " Am I to be blamed ? There is no permission needed here. There is not a single lock big or small in the whole house.Till 2 a.m. , all the doors are open. At 5 a.m. , I do not like to be disturbed  by the milkman from my sleep, so I sleep without bolting all doors at any hour of the day or night.

The visitor was lost in the ocean of the spiritual thoughts and emotions.He did not think of any formality.He could not raise his tongue to create a jarring noise to disturb himself and to forcefully pull his mind to mental plane  from the ocean of the undreamed sweetness and wonder. The sweetness was gradually maturing itself to lead him to the blissfulness.The wonder was gradually transforming itself to reverential worshippingness.

Said the Founder," One Friday night, the last devotee was getting up to go , , found  a thief just concealing himself. The devotee was strong enough. He ran after him, caught him and brought him to me , asking me  if he should hand him over to the Police . I said," No. " and told the thief ," Take away whatever you like from here ". The thief was put to shame  and was let loose."

The Founder can only be the speaker. He repeated the line " Bazuza Khairaata Kachhhu Apanaa Nahi Hay.".

" Except what Mother, with Her own Majestic Mercifulness, only as a charity, permits and enables me to use, and enjoy in all gratefulness to Her , except what Mother herself places in my mouth, and feeds me with, as Grace remnant morsels , nothing belongs to me.What of my home, wife, children , wealth and possession ?  not even my own body , mind , heart and soul, is mine ."

Pointing his finger to the Mother, and unable even to utter a syllable , the Founder could not hold himself erect and standing. He dropped himself down , simply sat down on the ground, and began starring at the visitor speechlessly, as if busy with the work of sublimating and re-constituting the visitor's soul.

 Jay Mai . Jay Mai. Jay Mai. Jay Mai. Jay Mai.